My Stella.

It started with a ping. In the r/Hackintosh Paradise Discord server, I recognized her username. Someone who had contributed to PojavLauncher in the past. Ah, nice to see.

We began a friendship shortly after that. Through the jailbreak community, Minecraft and PojavLauncher, Hackintoshes and legacy Macs, she's been with me for most of my public development career.

She may very well have been the first person to hit that Chiara-level of friend, as looking back now I realize I felt relaxed around her. Maybe it was because she was so like me: a nerd, a recent addition to the trans community, gentle, strong, caring. Determined, too.

We only officially started dating in October of last year, so it's still relatively new. But I felt so comfortable with her... like I had known her for all my life at this point. We both supported each other emotionally, and go back and forth with cheap shots so effortlessly. We just... understood each other, right off the bat.

After my whole psych ward experience, I opened my eyes to our relationship, and a few of the feelings I had felt that I may not have been ready for.

So after I got back, from nearly dying, I told her. Even though we have only been dating for half a year, even though I'm a few months away from 18, even though shit is still going down at home with my family, I couldn't hide it anymore.

So, I asked her to marry me. Promising to do it properly at a later time, with a real ring and a real kneel and a real kiss. I legitimately asked Stella to marry me over Discord private messages.

She said yes.

And ever since then, I feel motivated. Euphoric. Happy. Again. I'm in love again with someone that's speechless to me, and now I know that one day we can secure it with a ring. Go down the aisle. Dance with each other. Be close to one another.

I'm not sure what the future holds, but between friends and my fiance, I'm hopeful for it. And even though right now I'm going through some tough times with school and home, I have a replenished shield. The one that Chiara originally made for me, that had been beaten down by life since her demise.

Now, three people are holding it up with me, fighting alongside me. Not to mention, the power that the community in my Discord server has given me. I've never had this kind of support before... and I'll be damned if I don't try.

I appreciate her more than anything, for her actions and her love. And I can't wait to inevitably walk down the aisle with her, surrounded by friends and family alike, and begin a new journey alongside my partner in life.