Over three years...

So I'm a little bit teared up right now, and that's actually kind of a good thing for what this post is supposed to be about. I missed exactly three years sadly, but that's okay. Knowing her, she wouldn't be upset about that.

This post really came out of having discussed the way I landed in development in 2021. A few members of the OpenCore Legacy Patcher Discord recognized me for my work on PojavLauncher, and then we got onto the topic of illnesses and loss. I asked if they knew how I got here, and then explained how it all went down.

It reminded me that I meant to do a post about her on May 14th of this year, mainly because this year is so important to the future of my life. I've turned 18, I'm finishing up classes, and in a few weeks... high school will be over. The time for me to make my own path is here, and I don't think it would be authentic if I didn't bring her up.

I spent some time looking back on the life we had together, and the life I had after she died... and to say that she saved me would be a massive understatement. She was the greatest of friends, most insightful and inspirational of people, and full of creativity every single second of her days.

I wish you were here, Chiara... you've missed so much, even in just these last three years since you passed away. You last saw me as a vulnerable 15-year old boy, wondering what the fuck I was going to do now that you were going to be gone. And now I'm a powerful 18-year old girl working on so many projects with so many people, and spreading my knowledge and positivity where I can.

I don't talk about you as much as I used to anymore, mainly due to being okay with the fact that you're gone now.. but when I can, I like to spread the story. The one that inspired me so deeply and got me to change my entire life. The one that got me to keep myself living long enough to reach the end of what you had to say.

You and I both knew that we were going to be good friends when I first met you, getting bullied at the lunch table. It's shocking to believe that was... almost a whole decade ago. I have trouble remembering things from that far back but this... this I won't forget.

So... thank you. That doesn't even begin to cover my gratitude for how amazing of a friend you were, and I don't think anything ever will. But that's okay, right? We don't need words to tell each other these kinds of things...

I know that because your response would be to tell me that I already have shown my gratitude for what you have done, by continuing to be here, continuing to live the life that we wanted to have. You were just that kind of person.

You were actually your own kind of person. That was the best thing about you.

I'll keep it going for you.