Hitting the system reset

Okay, let's see how this does.

As you all know, for the past few months I haven't been making videos or streaming anymore. I was holding myself back because my mental health got kicked in the ass about seventy times during this period... and my default response to being threatened is to shut down.

A few weeks ago I said I was ready to again... but it turns out that I wasn't, so that never came to be. I had unresolved issues that I need to take care of - or at least vent about - in order to be remotely close to it.

Here we are now. I still have some problems looming over my head... but I really just need to accept that those problems aren't really mine to deal with. It's someone else deflecting them onto me and not my business.

So... I'm left with no real pressing issues that I need to take care of. And I think this time I am actually ready to start making videos and streaming again.

But I can't just pick up where I left off, either. I noticed that I had really failed to deliver any pre-made videos too and stuck to mainly just streaming Destiny 2. I did say I was going to prioritize streaming, but I ended up just streaming Destiny 2.

Picking up where I left off also doesn't flow for me. I mean, I took a hiatus for two months and then come back like everything is the same as before? That's not really what I want to do.

So... let's hit the reset button. Erase my current progress and start anew, fresh, as if I have never debuted before. While this also means trashing my hard work, that's fine. Some of it needs to be redone now that I have my 2021 16", and honestly it would be interesting to see how redoing it all goes.

Before I sign off of this and get to work on my debut video, I want to thank you all for your understanding. It means a lot that you're still here and cheering me on even when I'm not doing the same. I can be a shitty person to be around a lot of the time too - and yet you're still here, caring about whatever I say here.

The date I hope to reach for my "System Reset" video is going to be May 19th. I should get enough headroom for what I want to put in the video, as well as time to rethink how I make them entirely. With this reset I'm hoping to change a lot about the way I do things to prevent myself from shutting down again in the future.

In the meantime, you can come into my Discord server to hang out. I'm active in there and you can meet some of the people keeping me upright, too. You can join here.

That's all I really have to say. So... time to reset.

My name's Eilionoir.