Hardware failure

Let's get straight to the point: Chiara's iPhone SE is dead. I'm not sure what happened to it, but the display no longer works and charging is not possible. That iPhone SE expanded the last of its battery when I had it plugged into my TV to see if it still responded to touch.

A lot of people would say that I should fix it... but I won't. There's a valid reason for that, and not just because I'm still in shock because I've lost that too. No, that's actually kinda the opposite.

When Chiara died, she gave me a tool, a tool to wield against the rest of the world and to fight back at my problems by doing what I love. But like all tools, it was bound to be broken. Nothing is infinite in our world of resources, even if we want to think otherwise. Tools will break and need repairing, stuff will expire and need replacing, people will die and will need memory.

The point is that it's okay for the iPhone SE to be dead now. I used it as a weapon for so long in my journey through life, battling my doubts about myself and learning how to better be who I am. It taught me how to become a community member again and, for once, stand up for myself when I need to. And it helped lead me to my community where I've met so many great people that I can now call friends. Where I met Stella and...

It has seen so much of life and its ups and downs, and how colorful the world is today, and, like her, its time to rest has come. For real this time - no more unused energy, its last breath finally being used.

While this tool I used for so long is gone now, I don't really need it anymore. I have other tools to use and break, and I'm ready to ride the storm ahead with them.

I'll always have Chiara and her SE in my heart to remind me who I am, where I've been, and where I can go.